What to Write in an Eid Card When There Are Two Eids

Two Eids, two different cards

Eid al-Fitr comes first in the year: the feast of breaking the fast, on the first day of Shawwal, the morning after Ramadan ends. It runs for three days in most homes. New clothes come out, sweet dishes do the rounds, sheer khurma and seviyan among them, children collect Eidi money from their elders, and the month of dawn alarms is officially over. If you write one Eid card a year, it is probably for this one.

Eid al-Adha arrives about two months later, on the tenth day of Dhu al-Hijjah, in the middle of the Hajj. It marks Ibrahim's willingness to sacrifice what he loved most, and the meat of the qurbani, the sacrificed animal, is traditionally divided in three: a third for the family, a third for friends and neighbours, a third for people who could not afford meat otherwise. There is no fast before it. Nothing is broken at sunset. A card that talks about fasting at Adha is a Fitr card wearing the wrong date.

I know, because I sent one. In May 2021 I wrote a card to Yasmin, an old colleague in Luton, for Eid al-Adha, and wished her a long rest after the fast and a first proper breakfast. She sent back a photograph of the card propped against a tray of kebabs on her mother's table, with the whole review underneath: 'No fast. Just kebabs.' Here is the card that earned the review:

Eid Mubarak! After a whole month of fasting you must be ravenous. Enjoy breaking your fast with everyone today; you have earned every single bite.

Nothing on it is unkind, and almost all of it is about the wrong festival. The Adha version takes ten seconds once you know what Adha is: 'Eid Mubarak to you and your mum. I hope the house is full, the grill stays lit, and the leftovers last the week. Tell me about it on Monday.' The fix was never better wishes. It was the right Eid.

One more calibration before the banks. Which Eid is the big one depends on the family, not on the calendar. In many South Asian homes Adha, often called Bakra Eid, is the larger production; in many Arab and Turkish homes Fitr is the main event of the year. Do not assume your recipient's house runs on either pattern. Write the card about this Eid rather than about Eid in general, and let the specific one carry it.

The greeting is a decision, not a decoration

Eid Mubarak means blessed Eid, and it is the safe default: both Eids, every recipient, at home and at work. It is also the beginning of an exchange rather than a full stop. In much of South Asia the reply that comes back is 'Khair Mubarak', roughly, may you have the same. In Arabic the returned form is often the same words back, or 'wa antum bikhayr': and may you be well too. Knowing a reply is coming is most of what makes the greeting sit naturally in a card.

Eid Saeed means happy Eid, and it is lighter: fine for friends, tags and texts, a touch casual for a formal card to an elder. Taqabbal Allahu minna wa minkum means 'may Allah accept it from us and from you', and at Fitr the 'it' is the fast and the month of worship behind it, which is why observant friends say it to each other then. It is a greeting between people who kept the month. Borrowed by someone who did not, it reads as costume.

The greeting that catches outsiders at Adha is Hajj Mubarak. It belongs to a person who has performed the Hajj that year, and to nobody else. Wishing it to a whole office wishes everyone a pilgrimage they did not make. Plain English is not a failure state either: Blessed Eid, written plainly and followed by one true sentence, beats three phrases used as decoration. The practical rule for all of it: copy the greeting on the last card they sent you. Families are consistent. Match the house.

Send it for the moon, not the calendar

Eid does not have a fixed date in your diary, because it starts when the crescent moon is sighted. The night of the sighting is Chaand Raat, the night of the moon, when henna goes on, the last shopping gets done, and the festival is confirmed out loud. In 2027, Eid al-Fitr is expected on Tuesday 9 March, and moves to Wednesday 10 March if Ramadan completes thirty days. Eid al-Adha is expected on Sunday 16 May, a day later in some calendars. Every one of those dates stays pencil until the night before.

So write the card early and hold it loosely. A card that arrives on the second or third day of Fitr is not late; it is inside the festival, which is more than can be said for most Christmas cards by Boxing Day. Two households on the same street may keep different days, following different mosques or the calendar of another country, and both are right. If your card does land after their day, the move is to name the moon rather than apologise to the calendar: 'Your moon came a day after my diary. Eid Mubarak anyway.' A colleague who is off for the festival will not read anything until they are back, so a card timed for the first morning back is a card timed correctly.

One more thing about delivery: on the day itself, Eid cards are often handed over, not posted, because the day is a round of visits. A card that will be handed across a table can afford to be short; the visit does the rest of the talking, and the card is the bit that stays on the mantelpiece afterwards. A card going in the post has no visit to lean on, so it has to carry the visit inside it: where you would have sat, what you would have eaten, when you will do it properly. Write the posted ones longer.

For family

The family card is read at the table or passed around it, so write for the room: the cook, the chair, the outfit, the people who did the month's heavy lifting. These lean Fitr, because that is the family production; swap the food line and most of them carry to Adha untouched.

• Eid Mubarak. A month of dawn alarms and sunset kitchens, done. Sleep in tomorrow. The leftovers can wait, and so can we.
• To the one who cooked for thirty evenings and made it look like nothing: Eid Mubarak. Today, somebody cooks for you.
• Eid Mubarak, Dad. Your chair at the head of the table has had coats on it all month. It is yours again.
• Another Eid at this table. The faces shift a little, the seat I am given never does. Eid Mubarak, all of you.
• Eid Mubarak, Nano. I am wearing the outfit. You were right about the colour. As always, unfortunately.
• Eid Mubarak. May the house be loud, the table be crowded, and the good sweets not all be gone before I get there.
• For Adha, to the uncle who runs the grill like a control room: Eid Mubarak. We follow your timings and nobody else's.
• To my sister, who did the school run, the shopping and the last ten nights without once saying she was tired: Eid Mubarak. I noticed.
• Eid Mubarak from the far-away branch of this family. My plate is smaller here. I am thinking of the big table.

For friends

Friends get the card with the month still in it: the specific evenings, the running jokes, the debts. If your friendship has a food-related history with this festival, the second line below is a worked example of using it.

• Eid Mubarak. You fasted, you hosted, and you answered my questions all month without laughing at most of them. Eat well today.
• No fast. Just kebabs. You were right to send the photograph. Eid Mubarak.
• Eid Mubarak. First coffee of the month that does not have to wait for sunset. Make it a good one.
• To my favourite person to break a fast with, even though I was never fasting: Eid Mubarak. Same table next year.
• Eid Mubarak. May the new outfit survive the gravy, the phone battery survive the photographs, and the nap survive the doorbell.
• Eid Mubarak. I owe you a meal from March; you owe me one from last Eid. Let this year be the settlement.
• Adha Mubarak, and respect to the family group chat, which has been organising one lunch for six weeks and will organise it again at the table.
• You got through the month with two small children and a job. Whatever today involves, I hope some of it is sitting down. Eid Mubarak.

For children, and the card that carries the Eidi

Eidi is the money gift of Eid, given by elders to children and often to younger relatives generally. It travels in an envelope, very often inside or alongside the card, in notes kept crisp for the purpose. The amount is private and nobody announces it; the children compare totals later and the adults pretend this is not happening. The card's job is to be the part that is kept after the money is spent, so write it to the child, not to the envelope.

Two limits worth knowing. Eidi flows down the generations, so a child does not owe it upward, and it is a family gift: a card for a colleague's children should travel alone, without money, unless you are close enough to be counted as family.

• Eid Mubarak, superstar. The envelope is yours. Spend some, save some, and tell me first what you bought.
• For the youngest cousin: Eid Mubarak. Your Eidi is in the card. So is this message, which the money is not allowed to outshine.
• Eid Mubarak. You stayed up past your bedtime for a month of evenings and behaved at all of them. The envelope says the rest.
• To the nephew who counted down the last ten days on the fridge calendar: it is today. Eid Mubarak.
• Eid Mubarak, and one rule from your auntie: Eidi spent on your little brother still counts as spent by you. Choose wisely.
• For the baby, who slept through the entire festival: Eid Mubarak. Your envelope is with your mum, who is trustworthy. Probably.
• Eid Mubarak. First Eid in the new outfit. There will be photographs, and you will be shown them at your wedding.
• To the granddaughter saving for a bike: Eid Mubarak. This is a contribution, not the whole bike. Pedal the rest.

For coworkers and clients

The workplace card has one timing rule and one register rule. The timing: it should land on the day itself or the first morning back, not circulate during Ramadan wearing an Eid label; the card for the fasting month is a different card. The register: warm, plain, about the person and the days off, with no theology in either direction.

• Eid Mubarak. Enjoy the days off properly. Nothing from this office is following you home.
• Eid Mubarak, and thank you for covering the late calls all month. The favour is noted, and it is owed.
• Eid Mubarak to you and everyone at home. We will see you after the festival, rested or at least well fed.
• To a client who answered emails at midnight through Ramadan: Eid Mubarak. Please be unreachable for three days.
• Eid Mubarak. The project survived the month, and so did we. Enjoy the feast.
• Wishing you and your family a blessed Eid, from all of us on the team.
• Eid Mubarak. The long weekend is yours. All of it, including the lie-in.

If Eid is not your festival

You do not need Arabic, theology or a borrowed phrase to write a good card from outside. You need one greeting, said plainly, and one sentence that is observably true: something you saw them do this year, or last Eid, or any ordinary Tuesday. Do not explain the festival back to them, and at Adha, do not make the sacrifice the joke. These lines all run on honesty instead of homework.

And the five lines to leave out, because each one is a real card somebody has received:

"Happy Ramadan!" (on an Eid card: the festival it names has just ended). "Enjoy breaking your fast!" (sent for Eid al-Adha, which has no fast). "Hajj Mubarak!" (to a colleague who did not go on Hajj). "You must be so relieved it is all over." "Ramadan Mubarak, and happy Eid!" (two festivals in one card: pick the one that is happening).

• Eid Mubarak. I do not know the month the way you do, but I know you, and I know today matters. Have a wonderful one.
• Happy Eid to you and your family, and thank you for every question of mine you answered this month, all of them patiently.
• Eid Mubarak. I am told the food today is the entire point, and I believe it. Enjoy every plate.
• Wishing you a blessed Eid. If eating assistance is ever required at one of these tables, I am qualified and available.
• Eid Mubarak from your neighbours. The street smells wonderful today, and none of it is ours.
• To my colleague: Eid Mubarak. I covered your Tuesday meeting and I would do it again. Enjoy the festival.
• Happy Eid. I got the day right this year; the moon helped. Hope it is a good one.

Short lines for tags, texts and the note on the sweets

For the gift tag, the text message and the card tucked into a box of sweets, where the line has to work at postcard length. The fourth one only works at Fitr; in some homes that festival is the sweet Eid, and Adha is the savoury one.

• Eid Mubarak. Eat first, talk after.
• Blessed Eid, from our house to yours.
• Eid Mubarak. The moon did it. Enjoy the day.
• Sweet Eid, and many happy returns of it.
• Eid Mubarak. Save me a corner piece.
• Happy Eid. New clothes, full plates, long afternoon.
• Eid Mubarak to the whole road. Mind the henna; it is still wet.
• Eid Mubarak. Day one of three. Pace yourself.

Turn it into a group card

Eid is the most communal date on the calendar, which makes it a natural group card: the extended family scattered across three time zones, the office team, the street. A group card with room for everyone's own line lets each person add the detail only they know, and it arrives on the morning itself even when the moon was only confirmed the night before. Start one on the card maker and let the family fill it.

If you want the wishes themselves rather than the method, the Eid wishes bank has 68 ready lines for both festivals, and the holiday card hub puts Eid alongside the year's other festivals. For another card sorted by relationship rather than by occasion, what to write in a Mother's Day card works the same way.

The kebab photograph is still in my phone, in an album I keep meaning to sort. So is the plate question. The heavy blue glass plate that Yasmin's mother's baklava arrived on in 2021 has crossed between our two houses at least twice a year since, and it always travels back loaded, because returning it empty would end something neither family has ever named out loud. It is washed and sitting on the second shelf of my cupboard now. I have until March to decide what it goes back with.